[Near's not wrong; trust between the two of them has always been conditional at best and coupled with wariness. Near knows exactly what Mello is capable of better than anyone else here - possibly better than anyone else, period. The main variable in this equation - the fact that Near is someone Mello considers important, to him personally - is something that Mello has never explicitly stated to him and is the main reason why he's filled with such guilt over the damage the demon wrought while in his body. Holding someone in such high regard you're willing to die if it will ensure that person's safety, and then causing a very real threat to that same person's safety is a difficult dichotomy to reconcile, and it's made exponentially worse by the knowledge that the demon's real target was Near.
To anyone else, what Near says about possession might sound like a broad, general observation - in fact, that's what it sounds like to Mello at first, and he almost retorts with a sharp And how would you know?, already has his mouth open to speak - but then he remembers. Near does know, because he has been possessed before. Mello presses his mouth shut in a tight frown and stops tucking things into his jacket pockets long enough to sigh quietly and rub a hand over his face.]
The Indigo Illuminant.
[Not exactly a demon, and Near wasn't himself at the time it happened. But in a way, that seems almost like being doubly possessed.
Near hadn't provided many details about that experience, and Mello hadn't pressed him for them because there were more immediate concerns at the time. But Mello remembers that Near told him that possession happened as a result of miscalculation, and the fact that he is making an effort to point it out again is enough to make Mello pause and consider Near's reasons for doing so. There's no immediate benefit to be found for Near in bringing this up, and Mello can find no good angle in which this can be used as a manipulation against him.
So that leaves - what, a genuine display of compassion? Neither of them is particularly well built for it, and Near is far less adept at it than Mello. Before their time here, Mello always thought Near incapable of such a thing, or any emotion, really. But there are things Mello has seen over the past several months - the shared dream of racing toy robots through a maze, the hushed words they'd exchanged in the orchard over chocolate during Sorrow's revival, the revelation that Near liked him and always had - that have given him reason to change that longstanding opinion.
It's almost harder for Mello to accept this demonstration of empathy, precisely because it's such a departure for Near. It means he's making a special effort, and it means he really does want Mello to stay, and all of this adds up to a realization that Mello really is important to Near, and it makes Mello feel like such a small, misshapen child, entirely undeserving of such estimation.
Mello feels that all-too-familiar itch to pull the hood of his jacket over his head and hide from this realization, but he doesn't. Instead, he turns to face Near, leans back against the desk with his head cocked to the side in interest, and folds his arms across his chest. It's a slightly defensive gesture, but it's also an invitation, a silent encouragement to continue. Go on. He's willing to stay and listen.]
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Date: 2016-12-30 01:24 am (UTC)To anyone else, what Near says about possession might sound like a broad, general observation - in fact, that's what it sounds like to Mello at first, and he almost retorts with a sharp And how would you know?, already has his mouth open to speak - but then he remembers. Near does know, because he has been possessed before. Mello presses his mouth shut in a tight frown and stops tucking things into his jacket pockets long enough to sigh quietly and rub a hand over his face.]
The Indigo Illuminant.
[Not exactly a demon, and Near wasn't himself at the time it happened. But in a way, that seems almost like being doubly possessed.
Near hadn't provided many details about that experience, and Mello hadn't pressed him for them because there were more immediate concerns at the time. But Mello remembers that Near told him that possession happened as a result of miscalculation, and the fact that he is making an effort to point it out again is enough to make Mello pause and consider Near's reasons for doing so. There's no immediate benefit to be found for Near in bringing this up, and Mello can find no good angle in which this can be used as a manipulation against him.
So that leaves - what, a genuine display of compassion? Neither of them is particularly well built for it, and Near is far less adept at it than Mello. Before their time here, Mello always thought Near incapable of such a thing, or any emotion, really. But there are things Mello has seen over the past several months - the shared dream of racing toy robots through a maze, the hushed words they'd exchanged in the orchard over chocolate during Sorrow's revival, the revelation that Near liked him and always had - that have given him reason to change that longstanding opinion.
It's almost harder for Mello to accept this demonstration of empathy, precisely because it's such a departure for Near. It means he's making a special effort, and it means he really does want Mello to stay, and all of this adds up to a realization that Mello really is important to Near, and it makes Mello feel like such a small, misshapen child, entirely undeserving of such estimation.
Mello feels that all-too-familiar itch to pull the hood of his jacket over his head and hide from this realization, but he doesn't. Instead, he turns to face Near, leans back against the desk with his head cocked to the side in interest, and folds his arms across his chest. It's a slightly defensive gesture, but it's also an invitation, a silent encouragement to continue. Go on. He's willing to stay and listen.]