Hadriel IC Contact

[solvethepuzzle]

"This is Near. I assume you know what to at this point."
Text | Voice | Video
(Good luck ever getting video from him. But if you want to . . .)

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[torrefied]

[Mello chews on the nail of his index finger, watching Near closely as he speaks. It's all uncomfortably similar to his own experience, with one notable exception. He hesitates, debating internally whether he should say what he's thinking. Honesty is often inadvisable for people like the two of them, and it's not something that was ever really encouraged for either of them, unless it could be used to their advantage. But Near is making an effort, and Mello recognizes this. It may be a gamble, and it may be one that backfires on him, but reciprocation is what he ultimately opts for.]

You said before that the mission failed - the one the Indigo Illuminant took you over for. But you didn't end up hurting anyone you cared about, right?

[That's the real issue at hand - the miscalculation was embarrassing, and the loss of control was frustrating, but the fact that he'd put every single one of the few people he cares about in very real danger is what Mello is having trouble forgiving himself over in this whole incident. He's more or less made his peace with Sharon already, but L and Near are both different stories altogether. His feelings for Sharon are deep and intense, but they're relatively new; Mello has a long history with L and especially with Near, and what he feels for both of them is much less simple than it is with Sharon.

So here he is, still not explicitly stating that he cares about Near in quite so many words, but clearly implying it - which is perhaps obvious, in light of his actions back home in sacrificing himself so Near could defeat Kira, and most of what he's done here, too. Mello drops his gaze, allowing his hair to fall forward into his face, and shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jacket.]

It wanted you, Near - your power. That's why it became so enraged that it dislocated your arm.

[solvethepuzzle]

[He is not quite certain how to take that, and thus he files it away for later analysis. It's as openly as Mello has ever stated such a thing, and sounds like a logical key to his final act back home. That Mello feels strongly about him is something that has never been in question, but that particular angle is not one that Near has ever quite considered a legitimate possibility.]

I didn't have any such person. [Par for the course, for the other people he's been. Very few of them had anyone significant in their lives by the time of the Jaunt. And even if he had, so long as they'd been loyal to him . . . Indigo would have had no issue, loyalty being part of his domain, and such. Not that Near has ever bothered to mention that aspect.

[Hm. Well, that certainly explains why the demon had referred to him as "mage". He keeps winding his finder in his hair.] Acts that are separate from you. [In Near's mind, at least. Anyone else, he'd be more than willing to blame for the situation, but Mello is and always has been different.] And the demon is gone.

[torrefied]

[If it were anyone else who'd been affected like this by the demon's actions - anyone other than Near, L, and Sharon - Mello wouldn't have as many damns to give about this as he does. Other people have always been collateral damage in his schemes, other people have often suffered as a result of the mistakes he's made over the years; he thinks, briefly, about Rod and the rest of the Mafia, falling down screaming and then dead in that warehouse last November, and he thinks about Matt, who will be killed in helping him enact his final stratagem against Kira, unless Mello is able to alter that path for him. With the exception of Matt, Mello hasn't regretted their fates, because those other lives were an entirely acceptable cost to be paid toward reaching his goals.

But Near and L and Sharon are different. Mello does care if they're caught in the crossfire of his missteps. And he isn't willing to sacrifice any of them.]

We can sit here and debate ethics and responsibility all day, Near - it won't accomplish anything. That demon may be gone, but there's no guarantee it won't come back, and I think we've both been here long enough to know that we can expect something just as bad or worse to strike before too long. I'm not willing to create a situation where I'll end up endangering you again. You -

[Mello tips up his head again, brushes his hair out of his face, allows his gaze to fall on Near again. This brand of honesty is a bad idea and he knows it, but he's already come this far, hasn't he. This bell cannot be unrung, so he may as well ring it louder. His mouth presses into a thin line for a moment as he inhales a deep, fortifying breath in preparation for the truthbomb that falls out of his mouth in the next instant:]

You're too important.